dam, I forgot to look at the last post so that i could start off this post sayin gits been (insert #months) since I last put up a wall, but oh well.Current mood? contemplating. When am I really not.The one thing I do too muhc is contemplate.(-) so where am I know ...lets see I am physicaly sitting in a chair in my half empyt living room which at one point ws beauiful( not to be superficial) but th efurniture was amazing but just like everything else that fell apart when my parents divorced PuFFF its gone .anyways where am I in life..I have no fucking idea....real age 20 almost 21 mental age? driving an amazing car ( even though it hurts my pocket) going to an amazing school, and made amazing new friends.AGHHHHHH   real world what now.this crazy life  i love to hate and hate to love.

So often I get the irge to write on here, but to actually get ont he site and do it is another story.It;s usally after I;ve seen something or heard a song, that just brings things in to play.Honeslty as i typed live journal into the browser  I thought who really wirtes online? Ha well guess I do.so last time I wrote was before school started.Oh what  a time it has been.where do i start.as what felt being liek a freshman I walked into the univeristy of miami still in aww that I had actually accomplished it.Little did I know it was not going to be an easy ride.It was def a hard transition with this classes,( welcome to theplace where everyoen is smarter than you)...and the fatc that none of my friends went there sucked!, none the lesss, I went greek.what started in a quest for what I thought I wanted , took me to SDT.at the time I was unsure, but after all thsi time I ahve every reason to love it.they dont lie when they say there is a plce for everyone,.


interrrupted!!! peace

Ive forgotten about this journal so many times  but when I remember I always  laugh at what Ive written in the past.They all happen to be different mooods  at different times in my life. SO lets  keep it going shall we?.I just recently turned 20 , and truth is its a little scary . To think when i was like 15 I would look up to people who were 20 and think they were just so grown up!and now im inthose shoes and  to be honest i still feel like a kid.I have  had this mind set lately  that I jsut want to do everything, im so scared of lookign back and wishing I would have  done something.I just got a new  car ! a BMW!  yes i know im crazy , but im just living it.I really feel accomplished with what Ive doen these past 2 years, i cn a finally say im proud of myself.Now ,  im  def not exactly where i want to be  ..my laziness is a problem  but  I def dont lack the motivation.I have this drive in me thats  always on 100 mph I just want to  be someone in this world.I want to be recognized and what ever i end up doing i want to be the best i can be at it. im so grateful   because i really feel like i have been given so many oportunities  and i cant wait to make everyone proud.Im trying not to let the little things  get to me  , its hard.I I find my self stressing alot  sometimes but I am working on it.At the end of the day I am  a happy person  and I have  alot of people to thank for that, which is why giving back is so awesome.As for everythign else it really is now or never , sometimes you have to be a litle selfish.i love my life, i really do.

 so these little writing moods come and go and sometimes i wish i had my laptop recording my thoughts because they woul be so much  better to me on paper.so living alone  gives u this unlimited thinking time, i want to be sure but as cliche as it sounds im only sure that im unsure.If only i had all the money in the world, but money doesnt buy  everything.btu dam it does put an ease on it.i feel my laziness taking over  me more often these days.And realizing that friends ares soemtimes so overrated also bites.Life is never really like a TV series as much as we tend to get sucked into it.Because in reality we dont want all the drama , we just want the happy endings.But  we cna have no happy endings with out some struggle.if we had a remote control to our lives would we choose to fast forward pause or rewind?I cant say  i could choose, sometimes i want a delete button.Or better yet   why have a remote id rather have a map, sometimes so u can avoid taking the wrong road and havign to find another one , why not just know where to go in the first place?

Im very contradictive , i also want to live by experience.i can never stop thinking about my friend that passsed away.

and a about the love o fmy life, i think im good right now.not till i   find the perfect fit to mypuzzle.and im in no rush.

 i cant wait to meet new people u have no idea...

i wonder how long  live journal will exist for.. like will i be able to look back at this when im 90?? lol i knwo im thinking a little to aheaddd, but regardless its a good question.so...happy new year!  so here  we go ,  AGAIN  feels like  every year its the same thing, people try to make a change , ofcourse the usual  is the  let me lsoe weight...guilty as charged.maybe this year it  will actually work out.it feelslke evrything starst out new.people braking up, people  getting together..i know i say this all the time but i miss being a kid  and  just having fun with out a care in the world, and the thought of  responsibilities, eeewwww.but like adult say with time comes responsibilities.im so not looking fro ward to schoool. blah, so  this intersnhip thing ,   i ahve no idea what is going  on , but on the other hand im looking forward to all the free time!  and i want to traveeeelll. enough for today ,,,  its over !!

Coming to you live.back in the 305!!!!actually ive been back for about 6 days , but they have gone by pretty fast i actually feel like i never leftt, sooo..coming back was different i dont think ive ever been away for that long so i kinda got usto it ,.. so im having a tough time with the harsh transition from having everything doen for me to doing everthing for myself!i know its  just gonna take time and ofcourse when school starts and work my life is gonna be hectic all over againnnn!besides that  i misss my family and friends in chile but after i got into that car accident i kinda wanted to get away from it all and oming back here was teh best remedy...that was a tough lessson to learn.i hope i never have to go through that again.on a brighter note... im kinda excited for school , and learning even more excited for UF even though im a long way from knowing if i get in or not  but still!!!! welll  i think tahst itttt for todayyyy!!!!!

the best nights are the ones you dont sleep<3

wow,,, i knew i wasnt going to be able to keep up witt this on a daily basis... dam not even a monthy lol... I did find a certain joy from readin gmy past entries even though theres only like 4!!Lately Ive been a littlle..busy?This all started june 21st when i boarded a plain ..destiantion chile..! and now 46 days later im still hereee... its been crazy..i always get that weird feelign when i come here  like if i had never left.. weird the fist couple of days it was just pretty mcuh relaxing  because all of my friends were in school with finals on the way.. but  aabout a week or 2 into my vacation things started to get exciting!Mostly hanging out with a fw of my friends clubs ,chilling, and drinking the usualll! then winter break came and thingsgot even better, me and 6 of my friends set offf to argentina,, after a 9 hour bus ride we arrived more excited than ever! we took advantage of every minute of those 5 days ,,even when we were taking napslol..besides going outtt ,, i enjoyed the most just beign with my friends and talking endlessly before going to bed , the laughter was endlesss, and at times the only thign that would shut us up is just plain beign to drunk to talk!all though are come back to chile was a little overwhelming..we couldnt take the bus cause the mountains were snwoed in so we had to pay almost 400  for a plain ticket.. yeah that kind hurt-but not counting that it was an excellllent trip. Vacation didnt end there after two daysof beign back in santiago ,chile i set off to vina del mar... another city in chile...its amazing..waking up and hearing the ocean in your window is on my top 10 things to do.Those 3 days i must have gottten about 7 hours of sleep all togetherrrr..but as the saying goes youc an sleep when ur dead,,, i took it literrrraally.! alot fo late club nights.. with alot of early hangovers...ofcourse we couldnt end it on a good not we had to go  and misplace the key on the last dayyy!...only to open the door with a piece of plastic! dont ask!...2 weeks went by fast. and now my friends are back in school so it sback to the chillign during the week the party thirs to fri...i can deal with that...! after everythign im still kinda tired,have you ever been tired of doing nothing?? yeah  well that tends to happen to me during the day.. and i get the usual  speech from my mom..tred of doing WHAT!!i think once you become a parent that feeling goes away...ahhh! parenthood!Now i have 9 days left till im back in the 305..and im all mixed feelings!theres a part of me dieing to see my friends,specially my best friend who i miss so much i could have brought her in my suitcase...and then theres a part fo em that def gonna miss my freinds here in chile who ahve been awesoem this whole timeee.. and the theres taht other part of me who is totally not lookin ford to going back to RESPONSIBILITIES.... yes,, thats the wiinnner,back to the routins..school.work..school...clean lol... i meani lvoe living alone..but it comes wiht a price.. and ofcourse im totally scared about goign back and sleeeping alone alonee...that the runner up..but its life...and im going to do everyhtign possible to be truly responsiblee and  let the inner slacker in me break through....anywayz on that note.reality sucks. coming to the reality that soemones is never comign back is defiently the worst thing in the world.to know that no money , person , thing can bring her back.8 months ago i wondered how would be today..ive realizzed that the time passing  doesnt really brign you relief it kinda just slaps you in the face reminding you taht no matter how long you wait...i miss her terriblyyy.rip a.z....i hope one day i can truly understand why things like that happen..for now ill have to settle for the things happen for a reason..till thennn.....things to im nto lookign forward tooo...waking up at 7 am MON WED FRi....!! for history and psy! yuck!..on a good note then i get to hit up the gym pretty early an d hav ethe day to myself......upcoming trips...gainsville and orlandooooo!!!!! then hopefully brasilllll..... and in my  future mbe moving to gainsvilllew with my bff!crossing my fingers for thatttt!!!ive come to a conclusionn ..traveling is amzing.... even better with good compnay...money  cant buy happpinessss..just really expensive things! the best nights are  the ones you dont sleeep,eatign makes you happyyyy...anxiety makes you eat...ALOT...writing your feelings is awesome...and havign freinds well.. its makes life bettterrr...


till next time
peace

summer after college, so far so good, sometimes i wish i ha dthe power to make everyone happy, dont you??

wow, i cant believe these things happen.This virginia tech thing is crazy.I feel for all the family and friends of those lost.I feel your pain.dealing with the loss of a freind ro family is by far worse than anything.They were so young,it hurts.Im again reminded of how fragile this life is....

Lunch with the girls, it was very enjoyable.That speech class is so wack.By the time it finished i was hungry all over again so me and carol got a ho chocolate some empanadas and a muffin and sat by the coffeee house.I miss some times , not caring about stuff.I feel like i worry too much ,but at the same i guess ive een doing good, i guess im gonn ahve to see how these next few weeks go to see what the direction to head in ,mybe mix some old into the new, and reconnect here and there.Im so ready for summer , my birthday week is gonna be amazing, what could be better than a week at the beach a couple of bottles and ur girlfriends.Looking forward to some great tanning.On the down side my other half is going to be out of town but im sure she'll  be having lotz of fun , so might as well make the best of it in the MIA.As for this weekend, carol is out of town  going to tally, blowss we all have the weekend off so gootta do soemthing crazy !hopefully we can hit ub habibs boat on sunday  that would be great. well this is just the beginning of the weeek.so far so goood<33

we all have them , its kind of a souvenir our heads buy in that moment in time to remember that , time ,place,and thing.Its funny how smell can u just bring you back in time or a song can make u feel like a child.People that know you best are the people that are always going to be there for you.Its so important to  keep  good relationships with people, u never know what could happen.Anger is such a wasted emotion.As for my username i love the song and i love the word.So many things in life are bitter sweet.ofcourse i had to spell it wring becasue 23909 people had it.anywayz ready for another week in my life.l things to look forward to this week

-No math test
-86 Luz
-Going "OOT"
-420!
-weekend off
-nikkibeach!
-supermarket run!
-the inferno


negatives of this week,
-knowing that in one week i will have a math test
-upcoming finals
- english essay
-sharing 


1 day down,,,??? to go

im getting tired of this same routine somethings gotta change.
live.love.learn.laugh.....  good words start with L

like laura!!<3

ever since i was little the thought of keeping a diary or a jounral was so captavating, it lasted for about a week or so and then i would lose the diary.Not until about a month ago when my english teacher assigned us to do an extracredit journal  25 pages long journal did i recap on that feeling.and right now i would probably be writing in it , if it wasn sitting in my car and  me beign the lazy ass that i am , im not goona go get instead i decided why not start one of these live journals, my writing can do wonders online.Typing is alot faster too, my handwriting is pretty ugly , for a girl atleast.Im also a lazy typer , so be patient, if i misspellll some words its just cause i didnt fully lift my fingers.yeah im that lazy so whatttttm laziness never killed anyone.right now im thinkin of a person tahts tottaly missing in my life.A dear friend, so this first post is for her.i love u and miss u dear<33and i think i should call it a night, way too muhc nyquil alogn with tylenol pm,im sleep deprived. so good night<3